Birth Stories - What Women Say About Child Birth.

This beautiful mother of twins birthed in the 'Smoothie Crop Bra' in confetti/white.

Giving birth is arguably the most difficult thing a woman will do in her life, not only physically, but mentally too.

Some women love labour, it happens fast with no complications and baby arrives perfectly healthy and beautiful. For many others though, labour is difficult, excruciatingly painful, over-whelming, scary, exhausting and so on...but even so, the experience is still an incredible one. Incredible because of what she has created but also, now she truly understands how powerful she is and what she is capable of.

Women are absolutely phenomenal.

At Cadenshae we hear about women's birth stories all the time. We love hearing of them, no two are the same! We hear of some where baby arrived in 45m, while we have also heard of 55 hour labours. That's tough. So we wanted to share what we learn every day with you all, so you can become more informed about what birth can entail.

We decided to survey around 600 mums about their most recent childbirth experience to give a more substantiated insight. Here's a fun tidbit, 48% of the first-time mums we questioned were in in labour for 12 hours or more...it's a marathon alright!

Here's what you'll learn about in this case study:

1. How many surveyed were first-time mums?
2. Did they give birth on their due date?
3. What age range are the surveyed mothers?
4. How many had premature births?
5. How many were induced?
6. What was the sex of the baby?
7. What was the first sign of labour?
8. Where were they when they went into labour?
9. When did the 'bloody show' occur? 
10. When did their water break?
11. How long were they in labour?
12. Was the 'stretch and sweep' used to initiate labour?
13. What time was the baby born?
14. Did they have any drugs?
15. What type of delivery did they have?
16. Where did they plan on giving birth vs. where they actually gave birth?
17. How many days were they in the hospital/birthing centre for?
18. Birth stories and advice from mums. 

1. How many surveyed were first-time mums?

• 54% had one child.              
• 46% had more than one child.

2. Did they give birth on their due date?

First-time mums:

• 56% gave birth before their due date.
• 5% gave birth on their due date.
• 39% gave birth after their due date.

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 56% gave birth before their due date.
• 5% gave birth on their due date.
• 39% gave birth after their due date.

3. What age range are the surveyed mothers?

Women between the ages of 16-44 completed our survey.

First-time mums:

• 1% were 15-19 years old when they gave birth.
• 14% were 20-24 years old when they gave birth.
• 50% were 25-29% years old when they gave birth.
• 31% were 30-34 years old when they gave birth.
• 4% were 35-39 years old when they gave birth.
• 0% were 40 + years old when they gave birth.

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 0% were 15-19 years old when they last gave birth.
• 11% were 20-24 years old when they last gave birth.
• 36% were 25-29 years old when they last gave birth.
• 40% were 30-34 years old when they last gave birth.
• 12% were 35-39 years old when they last gave birth.
• 1% were 40+ years old when they last gave birth.

4. How many had premature births?

The estimated date of delivery is 40 weeks from conception. However, if a baby is born at 37 weeks or less, it is then considered premature. 

Of the 600 mums surveyed:

• 14 first-time mums had premature births.
• 12 mums with multiple children had a premature baby the last time they gave birth.

5. How many were induced?

Induced labour is when you're given medical treatment to start your labour. Induced labour may be recommended if it would be better for you or your baby for the birth to occur sooner, rather than waiting for labour to start naturally.

First-time mums:

• 60% Induced (yes).
• 40% Not induced (no).

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 25% Induced (yes).
• 75% Not induced (no).

6. What was the sex of the baby?

First-time mums:

• 46% Girl
• 54% Boy

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 42% Girl
• 58% Boy

7. What was the first sign of labour?

First-time mums:

• 24% Water broke.
• 22% Contractions.
• 16% Braxton Hicks (including false labour, pre-labour, irregular contractions, period like pain, cramping or tightening).
• 8% The 'show' (also known as the bloody show/loss of the mucus plug).
• 5% Caesarean section.
• 4% Back pain or back cramps.
• 2% Urge to go to the toilet.
• 1% Change in mood (i.e: irritable, restless, lethargic, unwell, vomiting, hungry or head spinning).
• 0.5% Baby wasn’t moving (much).
• 0.5% Speculum wwab, internal exam.

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 36% Contractions.
• 17% Water broke.
• 16% Braxton Hicks (including false labour, pre-labour, irregular contractions, period like pain, cramping or tightening).
• 8% The 'show' (also known as the bloody show/loss of the mucus plug).
• 6% Caesarean section.
• 2% Change in mood (i.e: irritable, restless, lethargic, unwell, vomiting, hungry or head spinning).
• 1% Back pain or back cramps. 
• 0.5% Urge to go to the toilet. 
• 0.5% Intuition.

8. Where were they when they went into labour?

First-time mums:

• 59% Home.
• 33% Hospital. (Includes those that had a caesarean or were induced).
• 8% Out and about.

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 67% Home.
• 28% Hospital. (Includes those that had a caesarean or were induced).
• 5% Out and about.

9. When did the 'bloody show' occur?

What is the 'bloody show?'

The 'bloody show' or 'show' refers to a blood-streaked discharge that often occurs after you lose your mucus plug. This plug seals your cervix during pregnancy. The 'bloody show' often occurs in the days leading up to labour and is not always noticeable.

First-time mums:

• 33% experienced the show less than 24 hours before giving birth.
• 12% experienced the show 1-4 days before giving birth.
• 7% experienced the show 5 days or more before birth.
• 48% were unsure, never had the show, had a c-section or were induced.

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 36% experienced the show less than 24 hours before giving birth.
• 14% experienced the show 1-4 days before giving birth.
• 5% experienced the show 5 days or more before birth.
• 45% were unsure, never had the show, had a c-section or were induced.

10. When did their water break?

First-time mums:

• 51% Early labour phase.
• 25% Active labour phase.
• 8% Transition phase.
• 16% Pushing and birth phase.

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 37% Early labour phase.
• 17% Active labour phase.
• 12% Transition phase.
• 34% Pushing and birth phase.

11. How long were they in labour?

First-time mums:

• 5%     1 hour or less.
• 7%     1 - 3 hours.
• 15%   3 - 6 hours.
• 11%   6 - 9 hours.
• 14%   9 - 12 hours.
• 16%  12 - 15 hours.
• 32%  15+ hours.

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 9%    1 hour or less.
• 24%  1 - 3 hours.
• 29%  3 - 6 hours.
• 15%  6 - 9 hours.
• 9%    9 - 12 hours.
• 7%  12 - 15 hours.
• 7%  15+ hours.

12. Was the 'stretch and sweep' used to initiate labour?

What is the 'stretch and sweep?'

Also known as a 'membrane sweep,' 'membrane stripping' or a 'sweep,' this approach involves gently lifting the amniotic sac or fetal membrane from the cervix and lower uterus. Late in pregnancy, a doctor or midwife inserts a gloved finger through the cervical canal and uses a sweeping motion to separate the membrane from the cervix. This 'sweep,' releases prostaglandins - chemicals that help to soften and open the cervix for delivery.

First-time mums:

• 40% Yes.
• 60% No.

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 44% Yes.
• 56% No. 

13. What time was the baby born?

First-time mums:

• 14%  12am - 4am.
• 13%    4am - 8am.
• 16%    8am - 12pm.
• 21%  12pm - 4pm.
• 21%    4pm - 8pm.
• 15%    8pm - 12pm.

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 17%  12am - 4am.
• 16%    4am - 8am.
• 22%    8am - 12pm.
• 15%  12pm - 4pm.
• 14%    4pm - 8pm.
• 16%    8pm - 12pm.

14. Did they have any drugs?

Drugs such as Nitrous Oxide, Pethidine and/or Epidural Anaesthesia are often used during labour to ease pain.

First-time mums:

• 67% Yes.
• 33% No.

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 40% Yes.
• 60% No.

15. What type of delivery did they have?

First-time mums:

• 51% Natural delivery.
• 6% Water delivery.
• 9% Vacuum-assisted delivery.
• 8% Forceps delivery.
• 3% Elective caesarean.
• 23% Unplanned caesarean.

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 73% Natural delivery.
• 9% Water delivery.
• 3% Vacuum-assisted delivery.
• 1% Forceps delivery.
• 5% Elective caesarean.
• 9% Unplanned caesarean.

16. Where did they plan on giving birth vs. where they actually gave birth?

First-time mums:

Where did they plan on giving birth?

• 1%   Home.
• 13% Birthing centre.
• 86% Hospital.

Where did they actually give birth?

• 1%   Home.
• 4%   Birthing centre.
• 95% Hospital.

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

Where did they plan on giving birth?

• 7% Home.
• 12% Birthing centre.
• 81% Hospital.

Where did they actually give birth?

• 9% Home.
• 8% Birthing centre.
• 83% Hospital.

17. How many days were they in the hospital/birthing centre for?

First-time mums:

• 11%   0 - 1 day.
• 19%   1 - 2 days.
• 26%   2 - 3 days.
• 13%   3 - 4 days.
• 17%   4 - 5 days.
• 14%   5+ days.

Most recent birth: (mothers that have given birth to multiple children).

• 28% 0 - 1 day.
• 28% 1 - 2 days.
• 20% 2 - 3 days.
• 13% 3 - 4 days.
• 8%   4 - 5 days.
• 3%   5+ days.

18. Birth stories and advice from mums.

"Pursed lips and counter-pressure were key to getting through the contractions (back labour). It got me through 18 hours of labour before I needed the epidural due to stalling out." 

"I was in pain for about 10 days before baby came, so by the time I was in labour I wasn’t actually convinced that I was! Which made for a super fast labour, as I powered on about my day just thinking I was hungry or needed to poop! As it turns out, it’s not as scary as you imagine. We are made to do this. Something primal takes over, and you get through it. It really is an amazing thing that our bodies do."

"Just be positive and go with what feels right. Don't stick to a birth plan or you might be disappointed."

"Wow, this was my first time giving birth and never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would be as painful and exhausting as it was. I had a short labour, only seven hours, but I pushed for two and it felt like forever! I was really lucky that I didn’t tear or need any stitches - partly thanks to my midwife who rubbed oil around the area as I was giving birth...not particularly comfortable, but so worth it!"

"No matter how hard it is when your baby is born it all just blurs together and you forget it and love your new baby so much."

"I found my labour fairly easy and not as painful as I imagined. But it ended in an emergency c-section! Just know that anything could happen and it doesn't matter how you birth your baby."

"Don’t feel pressure to have a drug free birth. If you want and need pain relief then get it. No one will give you a medal at the end for being drug-free despite being in excruciating pain."

"You're stronger than you think, your partner or whoever is your loved one with you is there for you and only you, use them during labour and birth. They want to help."

"Having a premature baby can be scary but just make sure you enjoy all those much-needed skin-on-skin cuddles."

"I had a very, very long labour, I didn't dilate fast enough and my baby went into fetal distress and I was rushed in for an emergency c-section. It was nothing like I thought it would be, very stressful and for several weeks afterwards, I felt like my body had failed me. But, now I am just grateful for my wonderful obstetrician who made sure both me and bub were safe and healthy and that's all that matters!"

"First child, no drugs, water birth active labour. Five hours, pushing two hours and at the end a beautiful 10 pound 5-ounce boy. Only a first-degree tear which healed naturally, no stitches required. The body can do amazing things mamas."

"I delivered my daughter in water. It was the most amazing experience of my life, I would not change a thing. I thought when making a birth plan that I would need stronger drugs, but only needed a small bit of gas and air."

"Mine was fast and furious. I just tried to relax my hands at all times (not balled into fists or clenched) because I heard if your hands are relaxed so is your pelvic floor. Not sure if this relaxing technique helped with a fast labour but it’s all I could do to get through contractions - just remind myself to relax!"

"I had horrible back labour which badly bruised my tailbone. I was never told about back labour and how excruciatingly painful it could be. I did, however, have a quick active labour followed by only 30 minutes of pushing."

"Childbirth is so hard to explain! During labour, it was the worst pain I have ever experienced, but it only lasts for that short time and afterwards you totally forget that feeling. Labour is the worst part, as soon as I could start pushing it was a game changer! I was ready to push that baby out, bring it on! One thing I do remember and I give advice to others, push like you're doing a BIG POOP!" 

"I would never choose to birth in the hospital. Glad I had an epidural since it was a rough delivery, but I would have much preferred the birthing unit."

"I went unmedicated/natural for 10 hours, until the point where I was passing out between contractions. At that point I opted for the epidural. Don’t feel like you failed if you have to change your birth plan. The plan should always be to get your baby into the world safely and I did that so I can’t be hard on myself for my initial plan being changed."

"Don't let the horror stories worry you, everyone has different experiences and you just don't know what yours will be so don't base it off someone else's. Go into childbirth with an open mind and just roll with it, there's no point carrying negative feelings about something that might happen, just because it happened for Susan from down the road."

"I have really fond memories of my daughter's birth and had a really positive experience. I think as a first-time mother it can be nice to know that there are people out there who have good birthing stories to tell too!"

"We were admitted for planned induction at 38 weeks for maternal reasons, however, a decision made on the day to proceed straight to a caesarean section was best for baby (and in the end, it definitely was the best thing for baby)."

"A tens machine during the early stages of labour was amazing, and was the only pain relief I needed for six out of 10 hours, then it got too intense and an epidural was what I went for (I have super low blood pressure which had dropped to the point that there wasn’t any other option for pain relief)."

"I wish I made sure to eat while in labour as I fainted multiple times when it was time to get up and shower."

"It didn’t go as I had wanted (ended up with an epidural and forceps) but I had to accept that, he had other plans, it wasn't anything wrong with me or anything that I did wrong that caused it."

"This was my first pregnancy and birth and it was super quick! I was induced after my waters broke and had a beautiful baby boy in my arms within four hours!"

"Just go with the flow, because you never know how it's going to play out. As long as you get a healthy bub at the end it's all good."

"I had bought a cute onesie to look at for motivation when in labour, and had positive affirmations memorised leading up to the birth, which actually helped a lot!"

"Being induced isn’t as scary as people make it out to be. Although I was induced, I had a 20 hour labour, episiotomy and vacuum assisted. I have no negative feelings about my birthing experience. Every birth is different and induction or not, things may not go your way and there may be complications. You just need to be open-minded and take it as it comes."

"Midwives, unfortunately, didn't listen to how I was feeling and then I ended up with an emergency cesarean and because of all the drugs I was talked into taking plus the GA, I was unconscious for almost seven hours and missed those first precious hours with bub."

"Not having a plan made everything less scary. Just going along with what happened rather than being disappointed that it didn’t go the way I had wanted it too meant a lot less heartache."

"My labour felt like period cramps which I did not expect. Obviously, they became way more intense than that later but I had no idea what to expect and was surprised at the familiarity."

"It was my first baby so I expected a long labour, it was not at all only, only two hours. Yes, it hurt but it was a different type of pain, breathing and staying active helped me work with the contractions and meet baby. I had a grade 3a tear which I was not prepared for. Recovery was longer than a c-section, managing incontinence and building back my pelvic floor for over six months."

I thought childbirth was the easiest part of pregnancy! If I didn’t have to be pregnant for nine months and just had to birth babies I could have 20!"

"C-sections aren’t necessarily as horrendous as I’d heard. My baby was breech so the only safe way to deliver him was c-section. I had feared the worst but actually recovered quite quickly and the pain was very manageable."

"Water births are amazing! I wasn’t planning on having one but if you have the option give it a go! The warm water and weightlessness really helped with the contractions and it allowed for a better position for bubs to be pushed out! It was also incredible to have your partner pouring cold water on you during contractions so you don't overheat! Was an amazing experience."

"My first birth was pretty traumatic, less than 45 min active labour and my husband nearly missed it, then my placenta ripped in half and was still inside so had to have surgery following a natural and pain-free birth!"

"Be sure and push with the same muscles you use to blow out a candle. I used this advice, along with some others and only pushed for 13 mins." 

"Get excited! Learn enough about birth and read positive birth stories so that you lose your fear around birth. Fear is the enemy and makes all the difference."

"I loved having a c-section the second time around! And if we did have another I would definitely do it again as I had a bad experience with my natural birth."

"I was induced with both babies and both times I avoided the syntocinon. For both babies, my active labour phase was no more than two hours with no pushing. I know every baby and birth is different, but I totally credit the speed to being upright, walking around, sitting on an exercise ball or swaying in the shower."

"First childbirth was great. Was a week late, induced, and had the epidural. Pushed for an hour and a half. Had a smooth recovery. Second birth, water broke in the night, tried twice to get an epidural but it didn’t work either time. Pushed five times and she was here! Both so different but I wouldn’t have it any other way."

"I’ve had four births, my last two being water births which I highly recommend. It helps relieve some of the weight of the body and helps with the pain down south whilst baby is coming."

"The first experience was terrifying and scary with an unplanned c-section and then decided to do a scheduled c section the second time around. So happy I did as it was a nice relaxing experience with no complications. Don't be afraid to have a c-section if necessary as it saved my first child's life."

"It was the most euphoric experience of my life. My first delivery was traumatic, I had an appalling midwife who left me terrified that my baby would not survive the birth, then missed a postpartum haemorrhage. I was treated for PTSD and it took us four years to feel ready to try again. This time I hired a private OB who was the most incredible, kind, reassuring man. The midwives were incredible and made me feel safe, supported and respected. I wanted to have a third before we had even left the delivery suite! I learned to always insist on care providers who will listen to you and that you feel safe with. It makes a huge difference in the postpartum period."

I had two premature babies. My first little girl was born 31+3 and spent eight weeks in NICU. She is now a very healthy CRAZY beautiful little two-year-old. She is a determined, stubborn and strong willed. All the characteristics of a premmie bub. My second little girl was born at 30+1 and spent six weeks in NICU. She is our feisty tornado. She is already showing the same determination, strong willed and holy moly she is feisty. She definitely lets herself be known. The NICU life was hard, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. But please know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It may not seem it now, but I promise there is. Take each day as it comes. Some days you’ll go five steps forward and the next day you may go 10 backwards. That’s totally normal. Celebrate the milestones and achievements, don’t dwell on the bad things. Keep your chin up, this all will be over and the NICU life will be just a memory. But make sure you look after yourself as well as your husband. NICU is not forgiving, you can’t look after your baby if you are not strong. Be kind to yourself!"

"I kept really active during my second pregnancy, so much more than my first and the delivery I found so much easier the second time! I really felt being fit and strong second time helped me so much."

"Trust your instincts about being in labour. It never hurts to check if it is labour if you are unsure. And don't underestimate your pain tolerance. I did and nearly left the hospital fully dilated because I thought it should hurt more."

"First childbirth was long, exhausting, painful and difficult. Second childbirth it felt like my body knew more about what it was supposed to do. My body was able to act more efficiently and pushing time was reduced to 30 mins vs 2 hours with my first."

"My births were so different, I had a 16 hour labour, I was induced, told you had to have an epidural and then our little boy arrived after an emergency c-section. My second birth was so different I had a VBAC. I went into labour naturally at home, I woke up with contractions 20 mins apart, spent two hours at home then to the hospital with contractions 3 mins apart and our little girl was born with a little help from a suction cup!"

"My second birth was very quick! My waters broke and an hour and 10 mins later he was born! I thought I was going to have him in the car, one push and he was out! My first labour was about 4.5 hours long, so the second one was considerably quicker."

"My first baby it was so obvious baby was coming. The 'show' came the day before. My water broke as cramps started. My second baby, I was lying in bed with what I thought was Braxton Hicks again googling signs of labour. Show and water didn’t come until active labour! Each birth is different! Never expect the same thing twice."

"All births are different. Never compare yourself to someone else’s experience. Yes it may be a scary thing but go in as confident as you can, birth is a beautiful experience. Enjoy it as much as possible."

"I have three girls and every labour was different. Having an amazing midwife definitely helps, if you don’t feel comfortable find someone you do feel that bond with."

"Try to stay as calm as possible and just take one contraction at a time! My mindset of ‘I got through the last one, I can do the next,’ really helped me push through both labours."

"I had contractions throughout the day, but they weren't very intense until around midnight. I left for the hospital when they suddenly became two minutes apart. Got to the hospital at 3am and baby was born at 3:20am. Made it just in time!"

"The birth of our first daughter was horrible. She was a very large baby 9.1oz, had a very long labour and it was either get an epidural and try to rest to push the baby out or c-section. Got an epidural at 10cm. Ended up having bad tear and an episiotomy, she was stuck bad. Needed the vacuum twice (popped off both times) and forceps, was stitched up for about an hour after. Second baby was AMAZING. One pound lighter 8.1oz. Went into the hospital at 7cm very comfortable but labour stopped at 8cm for hours so I asked them to break my water which helped and he was born at 9am, no tearing, no episiotomy. It was truly amazing (no epidural) so I could feel everything when I pushed and I think that really helped."

"My first birth was an uncomplicated delivery with an epidural. My second birth was so quick that I didn’t have time for any pain medication. My advice is if you don’t plan on going natural, then make sure you get to the hospital with plenty of time because they need at least an hour here in the USA for an epidural."

"It’s amazing how you instantly feel better once your baby is in your arms. Those hormones are amazing! I went from consoling myself that I didn’t have to do this again, to being like “he’s so worth it, I’d do it again.... and that was three sleepless days and nights of labour!” 

"My last one was nothing like the first. No two pregnancies or labours are the same. Don’t let anyone’s stories scare you." 

"Your second doesn’t always come faster than your first! My first baby was born in less than two hours and my second was five hours. Go into childbirth with an idea of how you’d like it to go but also be prepared for it to not go according to plan either. Babies are on their own schedule and agenda!"

"My last birth was the best, at home in a birth pool. I had 3 x hospital births previously. The first one was a stillbirth."

"I had a successful VBAC at 20 months apart! It can be done."  

"Had two drug-free hospital births. Both were extremely fast after the water was broken. Both babies were delivered in 30 mins from water being broken. Not all first-time mums labour forever! Would never be induced again, preferred going into labour naturally."

"Each birth gets easier and easier - water births rule - exercise in pregnancy right up to birth is key!"

"There is going to be a point in your labour when you feel like you can't continue, like you can't possibly go on any longer in this much pain and beg for someone to help you to make it stop... this is when you need to trust your body that you can and will get through it. At this point, you are so close to being ready to push and hold your baby in your arms. Soon you won't remember the pain as your greatest gift will soon be looking at you with adoring eyes."

"I’ve had three successful natural drug-free births with minimal complications and I believe the mindset you have going into labour has a huge impact on your experience. You got this mamas! It's pain for a little while but it will end and you'll have your beautiful bub! 'This too shall pass.'"

Written by Nikki Clarke.